(Haha. Love that picture!)
This past week has been a total blur, to say the least. Last Tuesday and Wednesday we were driving down to Florida to start our lives in this awesome, sunny, beautiful place where we felt God calling us. Thursday we moved in with the help of Gary’s parents and some families from Praise Cathedral. Friday afternoon, Gary left on Amtrak headed back to Danville to finish out his work week. Over the next five days, Gary’s mom, her husband and I emptied boxes and totes and have organized this apartment from top to bottom. The kids aren’t happy that it’s turned into Fort Knox with all the child locks on everything, but hey, if you have small kids, you can’t be too careful! Part of your daily job description is keeping those little boogers alive!
This morning I’m eating breakfast and mentally going through my to do list that’s still a page long. I need to make a CVS run. Sam’s club. Walmart. Return some things to Target. This and that, among other things around the house that are still a work in progress. Then I get a text from my darling husband informing me I need to leave earlier than originally planned to come and get him from the train station in Tampa. I am so ready to be reunited with my other half. It’s been a long and chaotic week. I need my rock back. I don’t know how you military families do it. I really don’t.
So now I’m in high gear trying to shorten my to do list trying to figure out what the most important things are to be accomplished. I still don’t have pictures on the wall or the floors swept or mopped. I wanted the place to be sparkly clean and ready for him to come back. Just last night, I was telling him “I hate you’re coming home to three sick babies.. But at least the house is pretty much ready!” Yeah. Landon got sick Saturday. Kendyl and I decided we’d join him Monday morning with the same junk and we’ve all been on antibiotics. Fun week.
This morning as I’m all in a tizzy trying to get things together the thoughts started rolling in my mind. We try so hard to get our lives together. We’re a jacked up mess and it’s come to our realization. We’re no longer in denial. Great moment, right? We’re invited to church by a friend and we slam on the brakes. No way! How could I… me…me and all my mess go to church? Ether we view it as a holy place and wonder how a holy God could even look our way, or we throw out the ‘ol tried and true “I’m not going in there with all those hypocrites!” Ouch. Truth stings.
But my darling, we have this thing all wrong. Not one of us are even close to perfection. Some may think their byproducts smell like roses. But reality bites us and lets us know really quick we don’t measure up. That’s why He took it in His own hands. Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” While we were sinners… While we were… Sinners…..
God is holy and perfect. He has never, and isn’t even capable of, lying or being dishonest. He is awesome. He is righteous. But the greatest character quality that outshines the sun – He is love. And oh, He is mercy. He is grace. He is peace. He says yes when the world says no.
He doesn’t want you to try to figure it out on your own. He knows you can’t. As capable as you think you are at grabbing the bull by the horns and doing this thing, you’re nothing. On your own, that is. You don’t have the power or strength it takes to change. Strength is found at the feet of our mighty Savior.
Stop holding on to these crazy pictures of what you think God expects of you. He knows your not perfect and flawless. We were created in His image, but sometimes the image gets cracked by the world’s standards. Or cruelty.
Gary told me last night that He’d gladly take us as we were, sick or not. He just missed his angels. He didn’t care about the rest. He didn’t care if the pictures had been hung with care or if all the empty Chickfila fry boxes had been properly disposed of. He cared about seeing our faces and holding us in his arms.
See the parallel here? Oh, I hope so. God could care less about the outside. Your fake bake spray tan doesn’t impress Him. Your tats and piercings don’t scare Him. He doesn’t care if you live in the hood or in a $300,000 house in the ritzy part of town. He cares about you. He loves you. Y-O-U. He loves you as you are, but can’t wait to see you walk in His calling for your life. That’s where true joy is found. I honestly think it breaks His heart when we’re living below our full potential. We are capable of so much more through Him.
Stop trying to fix things on your own. Run to Daddy. Jump in His arms. Tell Him your junk. Heck, He knows it anyway. He’s just waiting for you to admit it. That’s the first step to recovery.
Living Life Unscripted,